Story Archive - November 2005

Analytics (11/29/2005)

I regularly read Internet user groups filled with messages from people trying to solve software incompatibility problems that, in terms of complexity, make the U.S. Tax Code look like Dr. Seuss. - Dave Barry

I installed Google Analytics on the site a little while ago. I'm impressed how much cool stuff Google does and how much of it is free. I do foresee that day when Google bursts and has its first layoff of ten-thousand people or something like that. I found out a few cool things from running analytics.

First, if you search for "meaning of the word productionize" my site was the first returned hit. It's dropped a little since I first noticed it. That cracks me up!

Second, I saw a lot of referred links from a random person's site. Well, it's relative thing, there were around 28 referred hits last month, but since I have no traffic on my site, 28 makes the radar. So I went over to the site and it's some sixteen year old girl in Ohio. "How bizarre" I think. I started to read back and then I see it. My infamous Anime Expo 2004 picture where I am asleep and bottle of Sky is placed in my arms.

Analytics has also inspired me to play around with some of the workings of my site. I just tagged most of my external links to see where people exit. I tagged some of the downloads, like the character sheets, that tend to be very popular. I tagged my RSS feed to gather impressions and click throughs. It will probably cause your reader to interpretted every article as new. Sorry. I'm thinking of merging the comment rss with the main site rss, but I will have to have a slightly higher success rate against the comment spammers to do that. Turing Test? Moderated? I don't know how to handle it.

The Day after Yesterday (11/25/2005)

The downside of the internet is that it has spawned a generation of activists who are actually very passive, who basically forward an e-mail to a friend and they think they are being some kind of an activist, and to me that is not the sort of activism that is effective. - Kalle Lasn

One of my east coast friends commented that he got to have snow on Thanksgiving and wake up to a white morning. I'll admit, it sounded nice until I started thinking about shoveling snow and having a frozen nose. I walked outside and though, "how unlucky I am to wake up in a place where it is pleasant every morning." Okay, technically it was raining.

I learned about Buy Nothing Day a few days too late. I learned that the day after Thanksgiving, mostly referred to as Black Friday for it's tendency to let business get back into the black through the gluttonous spending of the population, is also a day of protest where people are given the challenge to go the entire day without purchasing a single item. Well, I failed miserably this year, but it's on my iCal now! Look-out next year!

I drove over to pickup Gumdrop for a day in San Francisco all planned out with our central experience a visit to the new De Young. I had never been to the old one. With the rain clouds out it seemed like a perfect museum day. Yet, as we crossed the Bay Bridge, flying into the city, the clouds parted and the sun bathed everything marking a propitious start to a fantastic day.

The line for the De Young went well out the door and wrapped around a corner. We got the bypass the entire thing and go straight to will call to pickup our reserved tickets. Smart move! The line was easily a few hours long.

The museum was neat. The observation tower was really neat too. I haven't done any amount of "art" in a little while. I had a short story in mind for NaNoWriMo. I've got three page of notes on it, but not a single word of prose actually written. Maybe I'll do better next year. I pulled open the big green book and I don't have a single interesting sketch since August of 2004. The sketch is titled, "Urban Still Life" and is of the newspaper vending machines in front of a Starbucks.

After the walk through the museum and the walk through some of the park we went to Ghirardelli Square--let's not forget that Ghirardelli's first California location was opened near Sutter's Fort in Sacramento in 1849, and only moved to the San Francisco location way later in 1893! The square was packed and we learned that the holiday tree was being lit that night. Live carollers sang as a machine blew tiny bubbles that were meant to look like snow flakes. How random. How cool.

Thanksgiving (11/24/2005)

Thanksgiving is not a good day to be my pants. - Kevin James

Across the web today people are talking about Thanksgiving. Holidays at least have that way of focusing the attention of the entire country and a single topic, and that's a bit of tiny magic.

This is my third year alternating family Thanksgivings instead of trying to do both. Last year was up with my father's side. It was the first big rain of the year and we took the opportunity to go off-roading.

This year at my mother's side we sat around the table in collared shirts eating off nice plates with silverware that has been passed down a few generations. "They don't make this pattern anymore. So we've slowly been augmenting whenever we can find it. That's why not all of them are engraved with the correct initials."

My grandmother goes on a long tirade about her disapproval of the current president and there are rally cries from around the table. My great aunt complains about the $18 of property tax she has to pay on a random plot of land in Louisiana that was passed to her by a relative that she has never seen. My grandfather tells her not to sell: "land is always a good investment. They're not making any more of it."

The evening ends a bit early so those who are well over 80 have time to get taken back to their homes. Some of the kids go to see Goblet of Fire. I think about, but realize that it wouldn't put me home until around 2am, and say my goodbyes instead. Back home I watch the commentary for "Army of Darkness" and read a few more pages from the book I'm working on when I hear the rain start.

I put on my old and faithful completely waterproof rain gear (black trench coat, black leather fedora, black leather gloves and combat boots) and set out on a long evening walk through Stanford. Longs walks in the rain are a pleasure if you're smart enough to do them right.

The air is fresh and clean and there's no one else out wandering in the sprinkle. My mind wanders across the last year and I think over the things I am most thankful for.

The move: After five years living in San Leandro, a place I had intended to live for only one or two years, I moved to Palo Alto. The location is wonderful since all my friends live around the south bay. I loved the quaintness of San Leandro, but it's better to be central. I have always loved having company over and that never really happened at the old place. I would always go to others, which is good sometimes, but rarely did people come to me. Now almost every night has someone who doesn't live in my place over.

The roommate: I wasn't meant to live alone. I've known that since before I was born. College life was one of my favorites when I could shut the door to have my own room, but had easy access to lots of people. The problem is that I would despise living with 97.2% of the world's population. But there are those cool few that I can live with and not kill.

The friends: I have always been lucky to have so many good friends. I see much more of them after the move. It's is fabulous.

The girl: I'd been single for quite some time waiting for the right combination of all the best things to be wrapped in a nice girl. There was one I'd been watching on and off for a while with a secret crush but had kept my distance for a variety of reasons. The reasons melted away this year, I responded with unprecedented levels of courage, and viola! Happy happy, joy joy!

The family: I have two wonderful sides to my family. They are both very different and both very wonderful. In this busy world I never feel like I spend enough time with either, but I take the opportunities I have.

... and so many more.

Let's Grab a Drink (11/22/2005)

We are all weird in some way. - Cory Doctorow

In general, I am not a fan of the "let's go for drinks" ritual of the business world. The vast majority of people I end up with in these situations are not people I wouldn't be hanging out with for any reason other than work obligation. I often get stuck with people intent on talking about the crap that upwardly mobile business people talk about: the industry, sports, stocks, faux hipster cultural events. Then I lose an evening that I could have spent at home watching Xenosaga or something.

Best I throw in a at least a quick aside to the few coworkers who have stumbled across my site over the years (I hate all of you for reading this), I have been particularly lucky in the group I now work with to be with three colleagues who I could have easily become friends with in university at some none work function. I will go bar-hopping with them in the city any day.

I was out on Tuesday "grabbing a drink" with coworkers and vendors. It was one of the most relaxed "grab a drink" events I'd been too and I found myself actually talkative. There was one of the vendors there that was a new hire, new on the project, and clearly uncomfortable sitting on the side and not speaking hardly at all. I couldn't help thinking time and again that she was playing the role I usually did at these events.

They had me drink more than I should, silly people, and after we were all dispersing I went to the Togos down the street. The woman in front of me in line was tasting samples of the soups.

Rachel: If you know what you want order, please go ahead.

Jordan: You sure? I'm not in a hurry.

Rachel: No, I'm being complete indecisive on the soups.

Jordan: Well, I think the Chicken with Wild Rice looks great.

I ordered a roast beef and found it so delicious I had it for lunch the next day. I sat down at a table and pulled out my Palm to continue reading the book I've been working on. Rachel ended up getting the Turkey Pot Pie, a good choice the day before Thanksgiving, and while there were lots of tables and I was the only person sitting she sat at the table next to me.

Rachel: So, I didn't go with your choice. I got something with Turkey instead.

Jordan: Turkey sounds good too, but it might put your to sleep.

Rachel: I think I could use some helping. My names Rachel.

It was then my not quite focused mind though, "is this girl picking me up? We're at Togos on a Tuesday."

We chatted about Thanksgiving, the coming winter, the re-opening of the De Young and the hot girl I am dating. When food was finished we both went on our merry ways.

Zapatoria (11/21/2005)

When people wear shoes that don't fit them, it says something about their soul. Generally, I think it means they are good people. - Billy Bob Thornton

"You need new shoes!" That's what all those helpful people told me. I bought my last pair of shoes from Target around two or three years ago for $20. That type of high quality should have lasted me the rest of my life. The old shoes were dying. They both have gapping holes in the heel and the air cushioned soul is noticeably popped.

So, after saving up for the last few months I sucked up my pride and went to Target to get new shoes. I found a near identical pair on sale for $15! SCORE! We'll see if I can get this new set to last an extra few years.

We Are Meant for Sun (11/20/2005)

What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. These are but trifles, to be sure; but scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable. - Joseph Addison

We were meant to be in the sun. It's a fact. Horrible things happen to those people who don't get enough sunlight. It's November here and the weather is the seventies with a high of eighty degrees. How can someone not want to live in northern California?

Just a few weeks ago on a call with one of my colleagues who lives in London, he started out saying, "It is miserable here. It's raining. It was raining yesterday. This city has the most dreadful weather. I wish I could move to some magical place where it's sunny nearly all the time and the weather is always pleasant. Some Shangri-La by the name San Francisco."

Daylights savings came and went and now the days are shorter than ever. When I leave work the sun is already down and my spirits tend to sink with it. I'm doing my best to enjoy the lingering summer. I'm not out surfing or even frolicking on the beach, but I am sitting outside as much as I can muster without bursting into flame. I've been eating solo lunches recently out on the picnic tables by where I work.

Yesterday I had a picnic out on the big lawn next to my apartment complex. It was beautiful. Simply beautiful.

It's the Simple Things (11/18/2005)

It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all. - Laura Ingalls Wilder

The printer next to where I sit at the office was a piece of junk. It would jam multiple times per day and the autoloader often failed to work. The next closest printer is way on the other side of the office and we are all lazy. The printer had been replaced under warranty by the manufacturer. The replacement had identical issues.

Then the company gave in and bought a new gorgeous high speed printer and now my life at work is just that much happier. It's the simple things like working printers, fresh fruit and fair trade organic coffee that make work a decent place.

The printer name is "MrBigglesworth" and that makes me laugh. My last job had printers with creative names like "SF-PRNT-01" and the like. The job before that the printer was named "Babaracus" and when anyone would ask "What does Babaracus mean?" someone would say in a horrible Mr. T impersonation, "I pitty the fool that doesn't know who B.A. Baracus is." I laughed every time.

Go Go Gadget Prius (11/12/2005)

Murphy's First Corollary: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. - George E. Woodberry

I wasn't looking forward to Thursday. That afternoon I had to go to the dentist to fill up another four cavities. I rolled out of bed late and got down to my car to discover (drum roll) a flat tire.

I knew I might find one. On the drive home Wednesday night there was a loud *POW* I thought was the ominous sound of a blowout. I was a mile from home and the car drove home fine. When I put it in the garage I check that none of the tires were flat.

By Thursday morning the air had leaked out.

That morning, upon discovery of it, I took off my collared shirt and opened up the trunk to find the little spare tire. It was a sickly yellowish orange. I couldn't believe it. Those Prius guys are jerks for picking that color.

I put it on, and in half an hour was on the road to work. That afternoon at the dentist, he discovered one of cavities was without real decay, just a bit of an abrasion, and decided to leave it alone hoping my new dental care routine (brush after lunch, dinner and before bed along with flossing twice a day plus Listerine about three times a day) would be enough to get some re-calcification. The new routine stinks, but I've been doing it for about a month now and it's simple enough I can probably keep it up for the next fifty years.

I dropped the Prius off at the dealership on Friday for them to fix two recalls, the 20k service (has it been so long?) and plug the tire. The kind man told me, "it will be ready by 5pm." I show up at 4:45pm and was waiting in the service room (which has free WiFi at least) when the call comes in.

"Do you need to pick up your car today?" "I'm expecting to. I'm in the waiting room." "Really? Okay, we're running a little behind, but it will be done by 6pm."

The two lady's running the counter in the waiting room ask: "Was that your service person?" "Yeah." "Is it ready?" "No, he said closer to 6pm." "Jeeze. He could have told you that fifteen minutes ago so you wouldn't be stuck here." "It's not a problem." "Is it Mike?" "Yeah." "He's new."

The waiting area closes at 6pm. At 5:58pm Mike comes in, "Hey Jordan! You're car is just being washed. You're good to go." Go I do.

Another Election Day (11/08/2005)

Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others. - Kang (The Simpson's Treehouse of Horror VII)

I avoid talking politics, because I have nothing to contribute that's new or unique. I voted today. I hope every intelligent person out there voted today. I voted against all of Arnold's initiatives.

Whenever that silly recall thing was, I voted against the recall and I voted for Arnold. Why? Why not? I do like the idea of a charismatic outsider going in and doing things a new way, challenging the paradigm and all the other buzz. I like the idea of a fiscally conservative and socially liberal politician. Still, I've come to realize, Arnold's new way of doing things is a little too reckless for my taste. It requires too much trust with less checks and balances.

When You're a Jet (11/05/2005)

I prefer neurotic people. I like to hear rumblings beneath the surface. - Stephen Sondheim

I saw West Side Story at the AMT on Saturday with my mother. It wasn't the greatest show in the world, but I enjoyed it. Afterward we were walking around downtown San Jose and paused at Cesar Chavez park to watch as a big group of young punks (around the ages of twelve to sixteen) played on the outdoor stage with their skateboards. They had no helmets on, and I could have sworn that's illegal these days in California.

As we were watching a big group of kids on bikes showed up. None were wearing helmets, but most had them strapped to their bikes or backpacks. Then the skateboarders started snapping and dancing around in ballet moves and I knew there was going to be a rumble.

Just Another Geek (11/04/2005)

The moral of the story is that we're here on earth to fart around. - Kurt Vonnegut

Ham-n-cheese: I aim'ing on my phone.

Jordan: Lots of people do that.

Ham-n-cheese: I paired a bluetooth keyboard with my phone.

Jordan: You're typing on it?

Ham-n-cheese: Ohh yeah baby.

Jordan: I think that officially beats when I was online all the time with Omnisky on my Palm.

Ham-n-cheese: Hail to the king.

The Global Economy (11/03/2005)

High-speed Internet connections and low-cost, skilled labor overseas are an explosive combination. - Bob Taft

After a romantic dinner at her place of business (where we are joined by my roommate who also runs into a random old acquaintance) we head back to my apartment. Within just a few minutes of walking in the door we are both at the kitchen table with our dueling IBM ThinkPads. I pull out my RSA token and she pulls out her VPN card. We log in. We sit and work facing one another, the computers are back to back. There is work to be done.

I'm talking with my kids in India and she is talking with her kids in China. It is the new global economy, where everyone around the world works a 24-hours-a-day. We are just that much more productive. From time to time I look up across the way at the intent look on her face, take just a brief moment to think about how amazing she is, sigh, and then get back to parsing the output of giant DB queries.

I'm reminded of my poor coworkers that have children and I remember a comment where the director complimented how fast work was done and was told, "thanks, but my son no longer remembers my name." Is that my future? How morbid of a thought.