Story Archive - March 2004

Hide and Seek (03/31/2004)

Ideas are like a river going by; you just dip your bucket in. - Gary Paulsen

The last time I saw her was nearly two decades ago when I abandon her. The memory is burned deep into my mind. I recall waking up beside her one night on the outskirts of the African desert and knowing I had to leave her. I gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek and was gone. At most five minutes passed from the instant I realized I had to go until I was out the door. That choice is still settling in.

At the time I left her, I couldn't face the ordeal of trying to explain why I needed to leave without explanation. Who could? I abandoned her in the middle of nowhere on a continent on the other side of the world. She was a capable of taking care of herself and we always knew our ways would part eventually. I've done my best to stay out of the public eye ever since.

When I moved up here, I made certain that no person on Earth would be able to find me. I woke up this morning with her lying next to me again. I think she found it ironic. One morning she woke up with me gone; one morning I woke up with her there. She smiled and started cooking breakfast talking like no time had ever passed when we were apart. We looked old. My time in technical consulting and her time in genetic engineering had taken tolls. I wanted to run away, but she'd brought breakfast.

Over what seemed like a banquet of food I prodded her to find out how she pulled it off. Finding me here in the mountains should have been beyond her means. She made a deal with aliens. I knew that would be the obvious way for someone to find me, but I'd covered all the bases. Terrans aren't on speaking terms with any of the guys in the inner solar system. Sure, the Martians have historically treated us pretty well, but ever since we started dive-bombing their planet with our "exploratory" vehicles they've put an embargo against talking with us. The Venetians and Mercurians have never wanted anything to do with us. I think they don't respect us because we're the only race that didn't start off on a wasteland planet, and yet we seem to be turning ours into one.

She made her deal with the Jovians. I didn't realize they had ships around our planet. Getting through the asteroid belt has never been easy and I assumed it wasn't worth the Jovian's trouble. That's what happens when you make assumptions without validating them. Once she had access to orbit-based telemetry and search capability, I doubt it was hard to find me. She just had to dial up one bitter male human with a bionic right eye and that probably narrowed it down to enough where she could check one by one.

I suppose it's not so bad. I was getting lonely up here. She brought me some real food. Tomorrow we're going to area where I've spotted wild cookies to see if we can catch some. Maybe tonight I'll take her to see the fairies.

Twinkle, Twinkle (03/30/2004)

There may be fairies at the bottom of the garden. There is no evidence for it, but you can't prove that there aren't any, so shouldn't we be agnostic with respect to fairies? - Richard Dawkins

I was bathing in the pond near my campsite in the middle of the night. I was trying to mind my own business and not pay attention the things happening around me. There was a ring of mushrooms on the shore. I had considering eating them earlier in the day, but mushrooms have a much higher chance of being poisonous than most of the foliage that I've been grazing on. Still, I was getting hungry again, and the mushrooms were becoming even more of a temptation.

Then I heard a laughing sound approaching. It floated towards me as a strange giggle that shouldn't be around in my secluded area of the hills. I thought perhaps she had finally found me out here, but how? And why would she be laughing? No, I knew it was something far more sinister.

Four lights floated out of the woods and onto the shoreline, each its own wonderful color. They circled about over the mushroom ring and started what appeared to be some sort of dance. They weaved in and about each other, gleaming like stars, and all the while the faint sound of guarded laughter was carried by the wind across the stillness of the pond.

Will-o-wisps. Fairies. There are probably many more names that have been invented for them over the years. They come to the shore each night and dance around the mushroom ring. Each night I wait silently in the pond to watch them. I play with the idea of revealing myself and speaking to the Tinkly (the blue one, who appears to be the alpha-fairy; I have named him Tinkly). Still, the stories oft give warnings of interacting with these creatures. I think perhaps I shall be content to merely watch them each night in the cold water.

Tired (03/29/2004)

No man is sane who does not know how to be insane on proper occasions. - Henry Ward Beecher

It was a hard day in the hills. Sure, I thought retiring up into the mountains would be easy. I thought it would be a great relief to not have to spend all day in front of a computer grueling over disgusting lines of computer code. You know what? It's far easier to go grab food from the grocery store that it is to hunt your own. I suppose this sort of thing is self-evident to most, but I've never claimed to be very bright when it comes to living in the wild.

I sharpened up a few sticks and went out in attempt to hunt me some wildlife. It sure didn't work. I guess growing up in the suburbs of Sacramento isn't good training for fleeing into the mountains. Sure, it trains you to handle those situations where rival gangs get into knife fights all around you, but that's a different story than the slow stalking and hunting of wildlife.

I finally found some various fruits and vegetables that appear edible. It's really hard to tell. If I drop dead tomorrow, I'll know they were poisonous. As for right now, they seem to be working for me. Maybe I should just go vegetarian. I think that would simplify things a lot.

I got a decent start to my manifesto. I found I have a lot of peace and quiet to work on it when I'm not collapsed from exhaustion or other such activities. Still, I have to crank away at the generator for quite a long time to work up enough juice to charge up the mobile phone and the computer. Plus, it's quite a long hike from my camp to get to a point where there's actual coverage for my mobile phone, and even then it's around 2,400 baud on the dialup. It reminds me of the good old days. My first modem on the Apple IIe was a 300 baud demon!

Okay, backup to top of the hill to stare at the stars be fearful of the howls of coyotes.

Sunsets (03/28/2004)

Unemployment is capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden. - Orson Scott Card

House of Cards

and the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent (03/25/2004)

All men should strive to learn before they die, what they are running from, and to, and why. - James Thurber

Open Apple-A, Backspace. KABOOM! It sometimes feels pretty good to select around two pages of mindless dribble and just hit the backspace key. Don't worry; it was none of your business anyway.

You try and take life a day at a time, but sometimes a whole bunch of days gang up on you all at once. I'm running for the hills. I'm taking a good book to read and lighter so I can read at night. If you want to find me, don't call me, I'll be far from cars and guitars and everybody.

Happy Holi (03/21/2004)

Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants. - Dorothy Parker

This weekend, I went celebrating Holi! HAPPY Holi. Actually, the vast majority of people I asked at the Holi event couldn't actually tell me anything about the history of Holi. They seemed far more intent to smear colored dye all of my face and throw me into the various inflatable kiddie pools.

Holi Colored Jordan Hall

As far as I could gather, and remember I'm not very bright, Holi has something to do with the way that Krishna flirted with girls in his village when we growing up in India. Anyway, here are some pictures of me getting a bit colored.

Archive BNCS Grammar (03/18/2004)

"If we choose, we can live in a world of comforting illusion." - Noam Chomsky

There's this great moment when you're doing something that's utterly insane when you realize this fact. Then you have to decide if you're going to continue the insanity, or throw in the towel. I continued and finished up the Backus-Naur Definition of the naming standard the Anime MP3 archive. It's a type 1 grammar (i.e. Context Sensitive) on the Chomsky Hierarchy.

<empty> → λ
<Full Name> → <Genre> <Grouping> <Disc and Album> <Track and Song> <Extension>
<Genre> → Anime! and Related MP3 | Console Gaming MP3 | J-pop and Related MP3
<Grouping> → <Actual Grouping> <Sub-grouping>
<Actual Grouping> → Ah! My Goddess | Ayumi Hamasaki | ... | Crystal Chronicle | Final Fantasy 6 | ...
<Sub-Grouping> → <empty> | <Grouping>
<Disc and Album> → <empty> | <Disc> <Album>
<Disc> → <empty> | Disc <Disc Number> -
<Disc Number> → 01 | 02 | ...
<Album> → Character Song Album | Future Blues | ...
<Track and Song> → <Track> <Name>
<Track> → <empty> | Track <Track Number> -
<Track Number> → 01 | 02 | ...
<Name> → Bon Voyage | Cinco de Chocobo | ...
<Extention> → .mp3 | .txt

Paroxetine (03/18/2004)

"A vegetable garden in the beginning looks so promising and then after all little by little it grows nothing but vegetables, nothing, nothing but vegetables. - Gertrude Stein

I've been working on one of my gardens again. It has been many years since I actually got anything worth harvesting from this particular one. The last few years have been, on the whole, formidable. I've spent a lot of time on the road, and some gardens need tending that can't be done well from a distance.

There are about five items in the nursery that I'm working on, but each takes a different touch. No two things ever seem to require the same care. I can usually get things to the point where they need to be harvested, but I have a hard time telling. There's one that I'm almost certain is ripe, but I also doubt I'll like the taste. The funny thing about this garden is, if I can successfully harvest something from it, the rest will die. Harvesting the wrong one is a bad option.

I'm never sure. I know I just analyze it all too much. Now I am analyzing how I analyze the process in some meta-analysis wrapped around a twisted metaphor of gardening. If I saw a shrink she would tell me to stop over analyzing life, give me some SRIs, and send me on my merry way. I'm glad I don't see a shrink.

I'm pretty sure one of the flowers I was tending carefully has gone dormant on me. That's just like a rose! Except they usually go dormant in the winter, but that's how things go.

Geektastic (03/18/2004)

For all Bill Gates' billions, he can't buy hipness. He isn't cool, except in a proto-geek way. - Jeffrey Young

Okay, it's been a geektastic past week for me. I've gotten really inspired to work on some various things. For example, I know that my old trusted MERP Character Sheet is one of the main attractions for the wayward stranger. So I added a Sailor Moon character sheet as well!

Most of the good stuff has come from mucking with my new T616 phone. Here are a bunch of pictures I took at random.

St. Patricks Day Sugar Cookies Peace Sign The Sunset Timlet, Jr.

Here is a voice memo that I recorded while in the car. I wrote an AppleScript that pulls down the AMR file, converts it to WAV through QuickTime and then converts it to MP3 through LAME.

Jordan Talking

I have my voice commands working. The phone rings and I can just say "Mushi Mushi" to pick up or "I'm drunk" to send it straight to voicemail. Or, I have it so when coworkers call me the ring tone is Star War's Imperial March. Wow, I'm happy about this.

I'm going to go rebuild a some unix applications so I can watch insane amount of random text scroll by the console. That makes me feel like I am teh b0mb!

Drilling Echoes in the Skull (03/16/2004)

I don't get your sarcasm. Everything you say basically comes across as 'Some horrible statement, but I'm only kidding, but not entirely, but it's mostly a joke, but not really, but sort of.' - Co-worker's comment about my sense of humor

Yes indeed, there are interesting things afoot right now. You should ask me about them, because if you only read this you will be behind the times. Anyway, this site is all about me rambling about my personal life. Work-life peeks its head, but is not the topic of focus. The same thing goes for my friend's personal lives. I am fascinated by something happened to one of them, but alas, it's not the kind of thing that they would probably want told to the world. You know? I know.

Two hours and thirteen fillings later my mouth is feeling a bit odd. The gapping hole between two of my teeth is no longer there. I'd take a picture, but hey, the gum is a little raw and gross after the cleaning and enough people get freaked out by the all-seeing eye that a raw gum is not a pleasant a site. The procedure itself was ridiculously painless. I thought dental work was supposed to hurt. It was just a big bore sitting around for two hours with my neck in a bizarre position as the drill went. My dentist said he was going to give me the blow-by-blow of what he was doing, but he really failed on that department. I found the part where the UV'ed the filling solid to coolest.

I got a new phone over the weekend. So I took some sweet camera-phone pictures before the procedure. During it, I got multiple calls, and we all rocked out to my Hilary Duff polyphonic ringtone.

Cavity List Dental Tools

Nitrous Oxide? No. We tried, but I couldn't take it. I freaked. I don't know why that is, but I get very freaked whenever I'm given something that affects my judgment. I can't take Tylenol Flu at night without freaking out. That's probably why I don't drink. "But Jordan, I'm pretty sure you do drink." Sorry, I mean, that's why I don't drink socially. Drinking to help dampen the overwhelming depressing nature of the world, that's a different story.

So why are people's teeth so bad? I still think there's some sort of conspiracy going on. No other part of the human body requires maintenance by a trained professional twice a year all your life.

Kalends, Nones, and Ides (03/15/2004)

the vulgar, many-coloured world of actuality, as distinguished from the crepuscular realm of the writer's own reveries--are mingled with its course. - Henry James

There are only a few hundred days each year. Each year that same date scrolls by again. It doesn't take long in life for all those days to become pregnant with memories. It doesn't take long at all.

The Ides of March is just one of those nostalgic days. Yet today I have learned that the Ides do not always fall on the 15th of the month. They only fall on the 15th when the Nones fall on the 7th day; otherwise the Ides are on the 13th. Of course, the Kalends always occur on the first. When will someone invent a calendar that makes sense?

I remember the Ides or March six years ago; on the night before the Ide of March, Debbie stole my red and gray flannel that has been the staple of my fashion wardrobe for the past fourteen years. It was cold out and she was adamant about either taking that flannel or the trench coat, and I just didn't see her pulling off the "freaky-gothic Jordan" look as well as the "stuck-in-the-past grunge Jordan" look. She kindly returned the flannel the next day on March 15th. You see? Sentimentality. I am a poor raconteur today.

let the wild rumpus start (03/13/2004)

You think you are big enough to make me, you little wimp? Come on, come over here and make me, I dare you... You little fruitcake. You little fruitcake. I said you are a fruitcake. - Rep. Peter Stark

I saw an interview with Maurice last night on PBS. He was brilliant, as I should have expected. He was very fascinated with demons and death. I think it's interesting that authors who are tantalized by doom write the majority of the children's stories I have vivid memories of. Inspired by him I checked out "Where the Wild Things Are" while I was at the library today. It's such an amazing book. I haven't read anything else by Maurice, but I think next weekend I'm going to run through some of his other works. They're children's books, so they are a really quick read.

While I was at the library I found out that my congressman Pete was having a town hall there. So I swung by to listen to what he had to say. I really like Pete. I talked with him for a few minutes afterwards about one of the bills in the house that I've been supporting recently and he had a staffer make a note of it and said he'd look into it. I'd written him a letter about it before. I've no doubt it will be brushed aside, but it was still fun. It helps me claim that I'm politically hip.

I didn't have my camera with me and I was really depressed! My father's got all these great pictures of himself with Quayle, Cheney and other political celebrities. I thought it would be great to get a shot of myself with Pete even though I was wearing casual hippy clothes. Next time he swings into town, I'll make sure to plan for it.

Lumberjacks (03/11/2004)

For the record, I like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Trust me, to at least one other person, this is hysterical.

Peanutbutter and Jelly

Cows (03/11/2004)

Experience is one thing you can't get for nothing. - Oscar Wilde

"Why do you do it? All of you push yourselves more than you need to. You take the harder classes at school that demand more of your time. Why not take the easier ones? Why not earn the easier grades?" The class discussed the question until there were only a few minutes remaining. I was always taciturn during this pointlessness because the class of aspiring pompous intellectuals merely engaged in sesquipedalian ramblings. It was typical in these discussions for me to sit quiet until the very end when the teacher would find look over to me and say, "Jordan. Why don't you bring this discussion to a close for us." I hated that he did that, but at least it wasn't unexpected.

"I was reading the comics in the newspaper a few weeks ago. The Far Side comic had a cow sitting in a living room reading the paper. There was nothing interesting about the cow. Behind him on the wall hung a picture of an old wrinkled cow. I thought it was perhaps the cow's grandfather or something towards that effect. The caption of the comic read 'The Picture of Dorian Cow.'" At this point, the class laughed. "Precisely." I smiled. "I laughed too when I read that comic. I laughed because I've pushed myself in the harder things and that earned me the opportunity to read and appreciate things that I probably would have never come across on my own accord. These are things that have shaped the culture we live in, and it allows me to get just a little bit more enjoyment out of the world."

Read.

Zoom. Zoom. (03/08/2004)

Automobiles are free of egotism, passion, prejudice and stupid ideas about where to have dinner. They are, literally, selfless. - P. J. O'Rourke

See what happens when I forget to open the windows while polishing my shoes?

Schmoo-mobile: Jordan, we need to have a talk.

Jordan: What is it Shadowfax?

Schmoo-mobile: I don't think you should call me that anymore. There was a time in my youth when the name was appropriate, but no more. I think you should call me Schmoo-mobile all the time now.

Jordan: What? But you're still young! This isn't Yolo country. That's not your name.

Schmoo-mobile: I don't have power locks or keyless entry. There's no passenger-side airbag. The rear selt-belts don't work. It took surgery just so I could play your CDs. We need to be honest with ourselves. Over the last year I've needed a new fuel line, exhaust pipe, clutch and distributor. I'm dying Jordan. I'm not what I once was.

Jordan: Don't say that! You can still easily break speed limits. Even on I-5 you're quite a spectacle.

Schmoo-mobile: We've had a good time over the years. You tried to drown me once and I stranded you on I-680 once, but over all we've treated each other right. We should end this now. I don't want you to watch me fall apart. I don't want you to keep sinking your money into getting me fixed up. You owe this to me. You owe me this respect.

Jordan: Schmoo... I... stay for a while? At least until the next time my brother is in town. I wanted to take pictures of the four of us. He's giving up The Babe Mobile soon. He's already cheating on it with a slightly younger mode of transportation.

Schmoo-mobile: Okay Jordan. It's a deal. I'll stick around for you that long, but then you have to give me up and move on. It won't be so bad. I promise.

We went out and spun the tires together. I took off the roof. I put on Weezer. We talked about the good times we had together. We both cried a little.

Jordan: Hey... Schmoo, I just wanted to say... umm...

Schmoo-mobile: It's okay to say it Jordan. I love you too.

Kids are Cute (03/07/2004)

The universe seems neither benign nor hostile, merely indifferent. - Carl Sagan

I was in San Francisco going out to get lunch. A woman was crossing a very busy intersection with her son who was around age five. The two of them were crossing against a "Don't Walk" sign. A taxicab came flying through the intersection making a left-turn far too fast. It screeched its breaks and kept from plowing over them. The taxi driver honked his horn. The woman paused to yell at the cab, "be careful @$$#0!3" which was momentarily followed by the boy giving it the deuce and saying, "yeah you $#!+."

I took my scooter down to the liquor store to buy milk and ice cream (really!). There was a woman in front of me in line with a ten-year-old boy. "Give me some of that [cheap vodka]" she said, but the boy quickly interjected. "No, dad doesn't like the cheap $#!+, get him Jose Cuervo."

Ahh... Kids...

Winters are Hard (03/05/2004)

I hit the book's point of no return; that place where something happens and I become consumed by the story. - Wil Wheaton

I've always thought of it as the moment of payback. Reading a book is an investment. One gives the author money to buy a copy of the book. Then one starts using up scarce time read it. The hope is that the investment will pay back.

I was just reading the novella "Winters are Hard" by Steven Popkes. I hit the moment of the first hunt when the payback point came. I had invested in the book. I had spent the time to understand the background of the characters. Now it was time to see how it all played out. I tore through the rest of it. I'm done though. I'm not going to get any more from the story.

"Gormenghast" was an entirely different payback point. When I finished Gormenghast I was still in the hole. That series had taken more from me than it gave back. Yet, to my surprise, the residuals kept paying out. After a few more years, I'm glad I read it. It's ranked among one of my favorite literary investments. To this day I think of some of brilliant writing in that work. Good job Mervyn.

"Childhood's End" had one of the best payback methods. I was using my patented technique for the discovery of great literature when I ran across it in the library in Sacramento. I started reading the beginning; then I sat down in the library aisle. An hour later I moved to one of the comfy chairs. I didn't need to checkout that book; I was done before the library closed. The payback hit right away, and the results just kept compiling the whole way through. The residuals for it still payout. Go read that book!

The best books are the ones where the dividends payout the rest of your life. The books that allow one to understand subtle bizarre humor in Far Side comics.

Tangent #1: Winters are hard. The sun has peaked out ever day this week and I've taken time to feed the ducks each day since I discovered their arrival. The cherry blossoms should be blooming soon. Folsom lake is warming up and soon it will be time try and spend as many weekends as possible on the water.

Tangent #2: The way to find a great book is simple. Go to the library and pull a book off the shelf that looks interesting. On the cover you will likely see something like "In the proud tradition of [...]" or "the author's best work since [...]." At this point, replace the book you were looking at and grab one of the books that it said it is as good as. It is not as good as the other book, and that other book will be great!

Cyber Stalking (03/04/2004)

When life hands you lemons, make coffee... and then you'll have the desire to make lemonade. - Jon Friedman

I've often told friends the first rule of having a public website is to never EVER put up anything unless there's not a single person in the entire world you wouldn't want to see it. As an addition, never EVER send someone with a public website a mail unless you're willing to have it posted. Perhaps you wonder why? Let me demonstrate both parts of the rule:

from: [snip...]
to: me
subject: stalking

So for some reason tonight I've been stalking people I used to go to school with, and whaddaya know. Your profile is less interesting than [someone elses...], I'm really kind of amused.

I swear I never read your [website] before tonight, but was that me in eighth grade you're referring to? I CAN'T REMEMBER! But it seems like something I'd do. Alas, it's all a blur...

This is of course in reference to the That Way not THAT Way entry

How about this for response, "No, it was the other girl that sat in front of me the first half of the year and tied my shoelaces to her desk..." Yes, I think that would be brilliant.

Speaking of stalking... "what does it say about me that i lose more respect for you when you screw around on friendster and orkut than i do when you perform dictionary attacks on websites of people you're stalking?" - Adzar

Solicitors will be Shot (03/03/2004)

Scientology 1970 is being planned on a religious organization basis throughout the world. This will not upset in any way the usual activities of any organization. It is entirely a matter for accountants and solicitors. - L. Ron Hubbard

I had all the lights on and the music playing loud enough to hear from outside when at eight p.m. there's a *thump* *thump* on the door. I think how stupid I am that I can't pretend I'm not home like usual and I open the door. It's "one of my neighbors" who is trying to "give" me a "free" one-year subscription to one of two newspapers. If I take him up on the deal, I pay nothing and the newspaper gives him money to go to college. Maybe it's a good deal for him, but my agenda is to send him off as quickly as possible. I hate these guys. I live in a large tightly packed open apartment complex that is the bread and butter of the door-to-door solicitor. I really hate that the newspaper and magazine subscription companies use them to guilt tools like me out of money.

A couple of years ago, specifically February of 2001, a nice young girl named Kayla came knocking on my door. She was quite the pushy salesgirl and got herself into my apartment by asking if she could use my restroom. I'm not going to say no to someone in need of a loo, but I know that young 14-year-old girls should not force themselves into the apartment of sinister older men. She then attempted to sell me magazine subscriptions. When I lied and told her I don't like magazines, she suggested a subscription to Maxim. NO NO NO! I did not want any magazines. She finally did get money out of me. I bought a subscription for Popular Science Kids for the Ronald McDonald house. I stole her pen. I still have it. I should stuff and mount the pen on my door as a warning to others. Now I keep the door locked, the lights off and the music down. Please, no soliciting.

Quack (03/03/2004)

Always behave like a duck--keep calm and unruffled on the surface but paddle like the devil underneath. - Jacob Braude

Today I'm walking home from lunch when I see the little pond next to my apartment has ducks in it. I have lived less than one hundred feet from it for four years and never once seen a duck in that pond. The weather is dismal and the poor ducks are huddled lovingly next to each other sleeping on a rock. Then I realize they are both mallards, and I think that such wonderful signs of same-sex civil unions should be rewarded so I run back into my apartment and grad some bread for them.

Taking pictures of one's self via timer is a tough art. I've had many challenges on side of the freeway in Memphis clicking the take-photo button and then running like the wind to get close enough to the large "Welcome to Tennessee" sign for it to look good. Today's adventure provided a truly difficult challenge. I quickly realized that ducks are not very keen to large mammals with great alacrity. I tried a few times and then decided I should stop tormenting the poor creatures and just feed them the bread.

feeding ducks Throwing out Food

Later in the evening I got inspired and did my first painting in roughly eight years. Yes, I volunteered for a summer at daycare center and my finger-painting skills are second to none! Well, at least I could hold my own with the five year-olds. I forgot that after finger painting your fingers are discolored for many hours afterward (or days if you are a five year-old and don't wash your hands much). Behold my latest creation which I entitle "duck".

Portrait of a Duck as a Duck Painted Hands

Here is a poem to accompany it.

ducks glide across water
feet paddle where none can see
large wake trails behind

Marsh Mallow (03/02/2004)

Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say _yes_!! - Winston Zeddmore (Ghostbusters)

I hear a soft susurrus coming from around the corner and I am reminded that the coffee maker has just finished percolating water for me. Tonight I have decided to treat myself with the first sugary beverage since the dentist informed me the "good news" was that I was going to be able to keep all of me teeth. I mix in the three tablespoons of Nestle hot cocoa but am slightly stymied since the plastic bin for the marshmallows is empty. Not to be foiled I grab the Lucky Charms box and pull out some pots of gold, shooting stars, rainbows and red balloons. When exactly did Lucky Charms become so bizarre? It reminds me of my sophomore year of college when the lady across from us would hand us the box of Lucky Charms at the end of the week with only the marshmallows left. She liked the light sugary powder they left on the rest of cereal, but didn't want to eat the actual marshmallows.

After typing marshmallow three times, I have become mesmerized with the world. So I clamber over to my bookshelf to track down its origin. I learn that it the original confection was made from the roots of the marsh mallow plant, I feel cheated.

I suppose it's time to brush my teeth and floss so that they don't change color.

Politics (03/01/2004)

I think that gay marriage should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Super Tuesday is just a little while away. Too bad I'm not excited by it. I voted a long time ago by mail. Heck, I even filed my taxes a little while ago. I'm just jumping the gun on all the fun stress that I might be able to get later on.

Even worse than not getting to vote tomorrow, my voting was essentially uninteresting. When you're not registered as Democrat or Republican or Independent or even Green, the partisan ballet is just sad. I didn't even have anyone listed for the offices on my ballot; I just had the write-in options. So I wrote in. It was a little fun in retrospect. I like this stuff. I hear rumors that Arnold and Davis are going to be on Late Night tonight, so I'm staying up for it even though I have to be up for an early conference call with people on the other side of the world.

I think I've had no less than four male friends ask me if I wanted to get married in San Francisco over the past few weeks. I think I can now official say I have had more marriage proposals from men than women. Alas, I'm pretty sure all of those recent proposals came from people who just wanted to take half of my vast fortune of MP3s. Maybe it'll make the ladies jealous or something.

Just this weekend my father asked my opinion on the whole gay marriage issue and I have to pause before answering. He's the kind of guy who can tear you down pretty quickly if you have a conflicting viewpoint without anything to back it up. Then I realize that my stance is the grand compromise stance. "I think the government should get itself out of the marriage business. The government can issue social union contracts. If people want to get married they can go to their church. Let the church decide if it wants to allow same sex marriages or not." He's says he agrees completely and all I can think is GGGOOOAAALLL!!!

GGGOOOAAALLL!!!

On a final note, while I was out at lunch today I swung by the neighborhood Church and dropped $10 in the donation slot. There you go Mel, the ticket price for your movie is going to a much better cause.