Story Archive - Maria

Sunsets (10/04/2006)

Know what you want to do, hold the thought firmly, and do every day what should be done, and every sunset will see you that much nearer to your goal. - Elbert Hubbard

My trip to Hawaii was wonderful and I'm still glowing a bit in residue. The week away from work with no computer access was nice. Getting a full night sleep and waking up to the sunshine instead of the alarm was wonderful. Swimming in the ocean was nice. Eating spam and rice for breakfast was nice. Napping on the beach in the afternoon was nice.

The classic question I asked my friends when they come back from a vacation is: "What was the worst moment and the best moment."

The worse moment was on the way out. From my mother, I inherited an anxiety about missing flights. We left from my house at the right time, but made a wrong turn on the freeway and were greeted by larger amounts of traffic than expect. Then our chauffeur realized he was running dangerously low on fuel and we had to detour to a gas station. Luckily for me, my anxiety goes away the moment I have checked in and I'm in the security line. We made it there 45 minutes before the flight was to leave. We got to the gate right as they started boarding. I had eaten a light lunch and the girl hadn't eaten. For the record, ATA is a discount airline. They offer no meal, not even for sale, but instead sell all sorts of candy and junk food. We survived off it until we hit a McDonald's in Hawaii at around midnight PDT. The flight was freezing cold, and ATA only has blankets for sale for $10. All these poor Hawaiian tourists in sandals and light clothing were shivering in their chairs trying not to fork over the ridiculous amount of money.

The best moment must have been the first or second morning when we woke up and made rice, spam and eggs. There's just something nice about getting to lounge around in the morning with the girl. We made breakfast together, thumbed through newspapers and magazines together, and talked through our plans for the day. It's something I hardly get a chance to do on any kind of regular bases (the 45 minute commute between our homes is a big separator that generally requires eating, showering and the like before the day starts). So to be able to spend that time together for seven days was the most unique and exciting experience through the whole week.

And a Funeral (07/12/2006)

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. - Mark Twain

My girlfriend's grandmother passed last week. I had only met her grandmother twice in the year we've been together. Her grandmother had already, although somewhat recently, reached a frail and challenging portion of her life. It's unfortunate how long and hard the end can be, especially when the mind starts to slip. I'm still ignoring the hard questions of my living will. I'm most concerned about having my mind fall apart before my body. I'm used to being a frail from time to time, but not use to having any issue with my mental capacity. Intellectually death doesn't worry me. You either end up with heaven, and that sounds nice, or you end up with nothingness and then you don't care. I have a much harder time internalizing that logic.

She invited me to her grandmother's wake on Sunday and I was touched by the invitation. I went for the final service of the day. Since everyone reacts differently to grief and I often have a hard time reading how sorrow affects people I feel awkward in sorrowful situations. I didn't feel awkward this time around. The memorials were touching and the mood was somber and pleasant at the same time. The ceremony ran through some rosaries and I followed along comfortably. I heard after-the-fact that a few people in her family took notice that I know all my prayers. Eight years of catholic education pays off from time to time.

I have a habit of crying when seeing others experiencing strong emotions; my mind wanders to the points of my life when I have gone through similar. My mind meandered back many years to the only other funeral service I have attended and I almost lost it. After snapping my thoughts back to the present, things were fine. I had some misting, but nearly everyone seemed content that her passing had been somewhat expected and that she was in a good place.

After the wake we left for a gathering at the girlfriend's aunts where her grandmother had lived. Like all gatherings of her family, there was enough food to feed a few small armies. It was mostly the half of her family I see less often, but it was full of familiar faces all of whom made a point to say hello and thank me for coming.

On my drive home, I kept thinking about how inviting and comfortable everything was. She's a lucky girl to have such a good family.

One Plus One (05/02/2006)

One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can collect only a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

It has been one year plus one week since that memorable moment when I started dating the Gumdrop Girl. This past weekend we celebrated it. We had a pre-anniversary celebration a few weeks ago. Gumdrop did the planning for a weekend away in Moneterey. There were a few snags involved, but I reminded her that when things go according to plan you don't have the wonderful memories. It's the mistakes that make things exciting.

Life is going exceptionally well for both of us right now. We have the standard issues where we work too much at our big exciting internet companies, but that's not a real concern. I'm constantly amazed at how well we're doing and while every weekend is a celebration, a real escape away from the hustle and bustle of work, friends and family was needed.

Saturday morning got off to a lazy start, also know as a good start, and we grabbed some food and coffee locally. I forgot a hat and we checked out a local hat shop before leaving. I really liked the Panama Hats they had and I thought they would look good on me. The price written inside was "900" and I couldn't decide whether that was "$9.00" or "$900". It was the latter: nine-hundred. Wow. It wasn't bought. Where can I get a really cheap knock-off Panama Hat?

A quick drive through the Santa Cruz mountains and we spent Saturday at the Boardwalk. Our second date about a year ago also was a day at the Boardwalk. Tradition. The Giant Dipper and Crazysurf are great, but I think she is such a sport going on rides that drop from tall heights. She likes them, even if she has to scream the first few times she drops.

Over the last year, we really haven't gone out to many fancy places. Since a year is a good mark, I did my research, asked my friends and finally settled on going to Shadowbrooks in Capitola for a late dinner. The place is gorgeous. It's built on a hill over a slough. Getting down to the restaurant involves either taking a diagonal elevator or descending a multistory staircase through gardens and water falls. We ate next to one of the indoor gardens.

Sunday morning we went into downtown Santa Cruz. We had wanted to go the beach, but the sky was gray and murky. When we reached the Santa Cruz Mission the clouds parted. We saw girls filling into the church in gorgeous white dresses for first communion. I noticed there was a mass starting in just a few minutes and suggested we go. So we did. It was in Spanish. Guess I should have read the sign a little closer, but Gumdrop reminded me that a wise person once said that it's the mistakes that make events memorable. Saying that first time we went to mass together was in Santa Cruz near our one year anniversary is good. When you add in that it was also in Spanish, brilliant! I was amazed at my comprehension rate of everything going on. During the Palabras de Dios, I recognized the passage and mostly figured it out. The sermon was even easier to understand due to a combination of priest that clearly spoke Spanish as a second language and the fact he was also using language meant for the children receiving "primer communion."

We grabbed food and had a picnic at Natural Bridges. It's down to just one bridge at this point. After lunch she took a nap on the beach while I went wandering around for a while. When she woke, we went wandering together. Finally we headed home.

Two days back at work, and I think it's time for another vacation.

Skating (01/16/2007)

In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I took Gumdrop ice skating last weekend in downtown San Jose. Every year they throw up a little outdoor ice skating rink and let people injure themselves playing around on it. Poor girl had only ice skated a couple of times in her life and was badly out of practice, but made a good show of smiling for camera every time she noticed it. By the end, her ankles were killing her similar to my feet at the end of the last Disneyland Trip.

I'm also out of practice skating and the ice on that little rink in direct sunlight was not pleasant, especially around the puddles of water that had formed in a few places. It made me think I haven't been out on my inline skates in a really long time. The first spring/summer after I moved in near Stanford I went skating for a few miles through the campus almost every weekend, but now I can't remember the last time I did. I do recall the last couple times I've thought about skating to the far coffee shop as I used to, I give in and take me car. It's never the skate to the place that stops me, it's the thought that when I'm ready to come home I have to skate a few miles back.

Curving (10/19/2006)

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I got an unexpected note from a friend I haven't talked with in a long while. He was commenting on the cute pictures of my wife and child. I had to point out his assumptions were a little wrong. Still, I guess I'm getting old. The odometer rolled another year for me.

I'm not on to my next midlife crisis yet. I survived the last one, came out of it strong, and things are still rolling in the right direction. But the progress has slowed down from what it was back then as it slowly approaches the asymptotic line of perfection. The progress is a more leisurely than my impulsiveness crave, and I feel it at the click of a year, but it's all coming up roses. Have you ever read the studies showing that even though people's material possessions keep going up, general happiness in life doesn't' It's more about progress than possessions. What's important for happiness is knowing you're moving toward a good destination. It's not necessarily reaching the destination that's important to me, but it's the progress towards it that makes me happy.