Story Archive - June 2005

AX2005 - Day 1 (06/30/2005)

Backposting... but I think I am just going to do one or two.

Day 1: Jordan, Adam, Jeff, Wes, Ross, Ted, Patrick

Independence day weekend can mean only one thing: it's time again for Anime Expo! Each an every year I skip out on my father's birthday and my grandfather's birthday to promote Japanese Animation. This year is my fifth year at the expo, but only the second year I get to attend the entire time through.

I flew down today on JetBlue, which I have never flown before, but I heard good things about it. I still mostly put my loyalties toward United because I have roughly 160k miles. Though I am no longer Premier Executive, so I'm less inclined to fly them when I'm paying actual money. I clearly need to take a few more trips on all those miles. Maybe I should fly to NY and see some broadway shows.

My pre-registration for the convention never went through this year even though I pre-pre-pre-registered for the event back in December. The problem is that AX doesn't have electronic registration and AX doesn't send a confirmation until the week of the expo. It means that if you're like me and don't get a confirmation, you're out of luck. There isn't enough time to try and resolve it. I called the bank just to validate that my check had never been cashed, and my check had never been cashed. Sure, I opened a ticket on the AX's customer service form and never got back a response. So, to keep one of the poor volunteers from trying to give me special treatment, I paid the extra $10 for at-con registrastion.

Wait times: Jordan - 3 hours, Adam - 3 hours, Jeff - 1 hour (joined us), Wes - 1 hour (joined us), Ross - 2 hours (cheated), Ted - 2 hours (cheated), Patrick - 3 hours.

The registration line took us about three hours this year. Amazingly, it's slightly less time than last year. It's a joyous time waiting in line for three hours inside a completely sterile and empty convention center hall. Videos? Music? Vendors? No, all these things would take a way from the pain and woe that is the registration line.

We've determined that they gather together before the exposition and discuss what is the least efficient way of processing people. Example? Why sure! After a person waits through the three hour line to registration he gets to the computer terminals where a staff member will enter in her confirmation number and then send him to the printers. There are five printers with about fifty people gathered. The system load balances the printing to one of the printers where a staff member pulls it out and calls out his name loudly, auction style, "Jordan from Palo Alto?!?" It took me about forty-five seconds to hear my name, so I put out my elbow and shoved my way to the front. Others easily waited five to ten minutes.

Here is where I have scratched notes to draw a diagram of it. I am lazy tonight.

What else went poorly on the first day? I'm glad you asked. We booked two rooms this year and had been calling once a month asking if we could get connecting rooms. Each time, the Marriot was helpful enough to tell us that we need to call again closer to the reservation date. When we got to the week before, they told us we would have to ask on checking in.

I was in the first room when we checked in and our rooms were not connecting. They were right next to each other. It was not great, but not horrible. We checked in one room and then make extra sure, "Now, when the other room checks in a couple of hours from now we won't have lost the room, right?" They kindly assured us that it would not be a problem.

When the other group checked in two hours later, they were given a different room down the hall. What?!? What!?! When later we complained, we were granted access to the concierge lounge. Maybe my Silver status helped with that? I had stayed over forty nights in the Marriot in a previous year in Memphis.

After registration finished we went up to concierge lounge to see what we got: free soda, coffee, water and juice all day long, and free breakfast with eggs, bacon, muffins and fruit and free h'ordourves in the afternoon. Plus, on the first night, our kindly concierge Lawrence gave us all a free drink from the honor bar. We were appeased for the room screw up.

Episode Zero (06/27/2005)

Wars not make one great. - Yoda

It is a time of post-apocalyptic dystopia. Society is struggling to rebuild after the last, great war, and humankind looks to the ancient Star Wars Saga as a mould in which to recast the whole of civilization. But all is not well...

Over the millennia of recorded human history dozens, perhaps hundreds, of special (more special, and even super-special) editions of the Saga have emerged. The progenitor, Darth Loo Kass, perverted to evil and driven insane by gross ambition, has seized and mutilated what copies remained of the original, unadulterated work. In their lust for wealth his heirs, lunatic tyrants, continue to release (and re-release) the Saga in endless variation. Entire volumes are discovered, purporting to document a prehistory. Each new video scribe has emended, enhanced, and expanded the tale, exploiting humanity's desperate desire to believe. With each new medium a new debasement appears: DVD, hologram, cybernetic implant.

Every retelling is different; their plurality corrupts and obscures the Truth.

Schism! Adherents to one or another edition have descended into petty bickering and violence, the disagreements between factions threatening to plunge the world into renewed war. Did Greedo shoot first, or not at all? Or did he and Han fire simultaneously? Did Hayden Christensen portray the shade of Anakin in episode VI, or was it Sebastian Shaw? Should the episode VII, VIII, and IX movies be considered among the Canon?

But now among them has come a kind of messiah. From atop the highest mountain he descends, bearing strange tablets which he names the Vee-Aytch-Ess. Upon these are inscribed the THX re-mastered edition of the Original Trilogy, the nearly untainted Saga as it was first set down centuries ago and long thought to be lost forever! He preaches a new hope, reminding the fallen that they are luminous beings, and declaring that paradise is achieved.

Earned it they have.

Tolerance (06/26/2005)

The rabble must always glean knowledge from their betters. - Dr. Victor Von Doom

It's pride weekend in San Francisco. Today's topic is prejudice. I was tempted to go on a long walkabout to review how I slowly grew from closet bigot that I was in high school to the "I have no problem with gay marriage or polygamy" person that I am today. It's too late in the night to dive down that path if I want to get to sleep. So instead, a simpler topic.

I was at the a friend's house warming party the weekend. I had met this friend at my last job, back when I created amazing relevancy at an ad agency. It's one of my few coworkers from that job I still talk with regularly. When I worked at that job, I remember how much I loved telling people that I do "interactive marketing and advertising." It was so different from what I had studied in school and what I had done for my first big boy job out of college that people would do a double take. "Don't have your prejudice opinions about me dammit!"

I'm at this party filled with people from my marketing days and a few other people and whenever people asked me what my job was I would evaluate them with my geekdar and then give them an appropriate response. It ranged from "I do engineering" (which is not true, but people seem to accept it) all the way to explaining exactly what I do. For example, one person I instantly recognized as an IT guy got the full spiel while my friend's mother did not.

One especially cute and bubbly girl came up and introduced herself to me ("Ohh, this is some content writer or account manager" I thought) and asked me what I did and I gave the highest-level answer. I didn't want to have to through the pain of describing a job that I can't even describe to current coworkers. Instead, she and I talked about various interesting things like her cancerous dogs and my unsocial cat.

Then, our mutual friend and host of the party walks by and excitedly introduces us, "Jordan this is R. and she works at [insert name of amazingly and technically awesome company] doing engineering and Jordan works at [insert name of my company] doing engineering." I think we both thought: holy crap.

She verbalizes first. "You didn't strike me as an engineer. I saw you talking with D. and assumed you were a technical writer."

"Well, I saw you were a woman, and assumed you weren't a technical person." I make the expression of "I'm only kidding cause that was evil, only I'm not really." She laughs. We're golden.

She says, "You're company produces one of the top ten greatest features on the web. I think I would be bankrupt and confused without you."

"You're company produces one of the top ten greatest features on the web! I don't know how I would effectively stalk people's college activities without you!"

The lesson for today? Bubbly girls can be engineers and so can bubbly boys. Also, it is more fun to talk about Project Gutenberg than pets.

Cruise Ships (06/23/2005)

We did not all come over on the same ship, but we are all in the same boat. - Bernard Baruch

Last time I was one a cruise ship, I was fourteen years old on an Alaskan cruise. My brother and I have never really shared friends for one reason or another, so he hung out with the sixteen to twenty year old crowd at the dance floors and bar and I hung out with the twelve to fourteen year old crowd. We played a lot of video games and I introduced the boys to role playing. We played Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (which is based on Heros if you care).

My longtime friend Debbie left for the cruise ship four and half years ago (I was amazed that it has really been that long) and this week the ship was docked in SF. It's the first time I visited her on the ship. I had always sort of planned to take a cruise at some point, but I never got up the inspiration. I was closest when the world ship was planning on going to Antarctica, but after inclement weather the ship's route changed and my inspiration fizzled.

It was nice to see the place she called "home" for the last few years and meet her boss who I have heard frightening stories of. We were introduced, "Jordan, this is the famous Ian. Ian, this is the famous Jordan." We squinted and traded knowing glances at each other. Both has heard more about the other than is probably best.

I took my departure. She has a boy in every port, but I'm her San Francisco.

For the RSS'ers in the audience, you'll notice I got my RSS images finally working. There was a little bit in the RSS spec about encoding quotes properly that I had missed before.

Dancing Queen (06/22/2005)

Custom has made dancing sometimes necessary for a young man; therefore mind it while you learn it, that you may learn to do it well, and not be ridiculous, though in a ridiculous act. - Lord Chesterfield

Normally at major social events I can be seen chatting away at a table while other people are partying at the center of attention. I've been working on my new year's BHAG of being less self-conscious at events. There was the infamous work karaoke event and this year I went on the dance floor.

I've always been a sucker when a kid asks me to do something. I have a hard time saying no to five-year-old boys and thirteen-year-old girls. The thirteen-year-old cousin who had been playfully flirting with me all weekend worked up the courage to shyly ask me if I would dance with her. The last time I was on the dance floor was when I was dragged out during my five year college reunion with Hippie Girl. I can't dance and I'm well aware of it. Sure, I took two months of swing classes once in high school, but my self-conscious kept me from having enough fun to learn it. This weekend, I swallowed my inhibitions and went onto the floor. I figure if she's going to work up the courage to ask me, I better say yes.

At the end of the dance, I took my bow, thanked her and was ready to leave when the fifteen-year-old cousin got jealous and asked if I would dance with her. I did the dance with a girl in one hand a glass of champagne in the other.

Having a good time and infused with courage, I kicked it up a notch a danced with the cousins in their twenties. The electric slide, the macarena, the chicken dance (chirp, chirp, chirp, flap, flap, flap, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, clap, clap, clap); I did them all.

By the end of the night my shoes were off and all the cousins and aunts and sisters were rightfully hiding from me.

Two Wild and Crazy Guys (06/19/2005)

Transition (06/18/2005)

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. - Lord Byron

I'm sixteen years old and my brother is about to head out to college leaving me to fend for myself for the first time in my life. We remove the screen from the window of his room over the garage, a room that I am going to take over in the next week, and climb out onto the roof. It's a talk between brothers, something we have done very few of in our adolescence. We talk about school, women and work and toast all the good years we have had and the good years yet to come. It's one of the first time we have talked about most of these things. The moment is bittersweet, like most poignant ones, and I have no clue that I am being involved in a tradition.

Nearly a decade later and for the third time I am invited to sharing in the tradition of transition. We walk out in front of the house with our father and sit to take moment and reflect and what has lead us up to this day and where we are going. We reflect on that path that has lead us to where we are. We reflect on where it looks like the road is going.

Tonight the theme is relationships. One of us is involved in the very initial stages. One of us has just reached that happy moment of fulfillment. One of us has entered into the twilight. Away from the bustle of everything else, it is a rare moment to share contentment. I raise my glass and pronounce an old toast I have given many times throughout my life, but seems more apt this night than most, "To health, wealth, women and time enough to enjoy them all." Glasses click.

Keeping Busy (06/14/2005)

Saturday night, dinner out at sushi and a talk with a midlife crisis buddy checkpointing on how life is. I'm nearing the end of my first crisis, but she is still plumb in the middle of hers. I do what I can. Somehow I have always been a relationship consultant for many of the women in my life. I think it is mostly because I am non-threatening and good guy (tm), but I also have a very Jr. High maturity level when it comes to the subject. I suggest things like passing notes. When asked about which is the right date to first spend the night, I remind people that fornicating is a sin and that God will smite them. It's not always the advice people in my age range are looking for.

Sunday brunch, coffee with my other midlife crisis buddy checkpointing things. She entered into the midlife at about the same point as I did, so I always feel a little more akin with her. After many hours we are both pleased as punch to know that the other can see the end of the tunnel. We're a little competitive on getting out of it and I think that a lot of our success over the last year has been driven by the other. She has dreams of professional athletics and my dreams are to be a pompous intellectual.

Sunday night was a belayed birthday party for another friend who shares a birthday with yet another two of my friends. I made cupcakes, because they are the greatest food invented by man. We watched the second to last Dr. Who of the season. Oh my crap! The Daleks survived the time war!?!

Geek Out (06/11/2005)

I did my best to keep busy on the weekend. I went to a little bay area crazy geek thing up in the city on Saturday. It was a news station's attempt to make use of the people with web presence in the San Francisco area. They used the horrible b-word and well as all the other scary and annoying buzz words that surround web presence. I went for the free T-Shirt, which I got. Good geeks never need to buy shirts. The head of the station asked "How can we help you?" and I said, "Can you make espresso drinks?"

I met Craig, of Craig's List, who I had previously traded a few e-mails with. He didn't remember me, but why would he? He was a great guy there going out of his way to introduce himself and meet with everyone else. I think he knew that he was the closest thing to a celebraty in the San Francisco online world, and he was passing along the glow to everyone. In a fun game of Where's Waldo, can you find me? It's not too hard.

Vedali Presto (06/11/2005)

when things are in danger: some one has to give them up, lose them, so that others may keep them - Frodo (Return of the King)

My girl is gone for a couple of weeks to Europe. All we wanted on the last night she was in town was to spend it together. 5pm and she runs out of work to get her hair cut so she will look sexy for all the Italian hunks. I'm still at work. 6:45pm, and I finally run out of the office. It's later than I usually leave on Friday so I run home hurriedly. 7:30pm and she's back at work again, apologizing profusely. She's "almost done" and as she describes the last few things she needs to do I recognize the last twenty minutes (tm).

I see it all the time at work during projects. I've got some task to do and I know that it will take hours. At some point, the bulk of the work is over. It's basically done, and then I have to just spend the last twenty minutes cleaning it up. The last twenty minutes usually takes a few hours. It feels like it shouldn't because it's just the cleanup. It's just the tidying. I care about the details. I don't have the chalta hai attitude. My priorities have changed quite a lot in the past year or so as I worked my way through my first midlife crisis.

I've made no other plans for the night because I was hoping to spend it with her. "I'm going to watch a movie; you keep me updated. If you get out of there at a reasonable hour come by. If you know you're going to be there all night, just tell me and I'll swing by for ten minutes to send you on your way." She tells me again that I'm the most wonderful person in the world and I blush over the phone. It's not that I can't take the compliment, it's that I feel can't articulate the appropriate compliment in response. She tells me she's still planning on being done shortly and I hear the optimism in her voice, but I already know what's going to happen. I sense the last twenty minutes clearly. She's going to be at her office very late. I sigh. I'm tempted to go see her immediately, but know that I will only serve as distraction and it's better just to let her work in peace.

I watch the extended edition of Return of the King. I hadn't seen it yet, and it's a long movie. I had borrowed it from her, so it's almost like spending the evening with her. I guess.

Four hours later the movie ends. She's still at work. I call, "Okay, I'm coming over now. I'm just going to swing by for ten minutes to send you off." I want to stay longer. I want to stay until she's done, but I don't want her working three times as long because she's trying to entertain me as well. She tells me she'll be just about done when I get there.

I swing by at midnight and find her car in the parking lot. I drop off a picture of us and little note on the window of her car. I figure she'll be leaving many hours after I do and it will be a nice surprise. She lets me in and I see the stacks of papers around her desk. I shake my head. Poor girl.

I watch her send email. I watch her make copies. I watch distribute stacks of paper to people's desks. We both leave at 1am, so my little surprise on the car doesn't quite work out the way I expected it to. She likes it. I send her on her way. "You're not allowed to think about work for the next two weeks, but you can think about me all you want." "Is that an order?" "The part about work is an order. For the part about me, I'm just giving permission."

I drive home and go sit out on the balcony slowly sipping a drink. It's quiet outside and I'm a little sad, in the way that I am often a little sad. I hold up my glass and give a little toast under my breath. My phone beeps indicating new mail and I read it, "you are an angel and thank you for coming--it made my week." I smile, because it made mine too.

Ressurrection (06/09/2005)

Loss and possession, death and life are one, There falls no shadow where there shines no sun. - Hilaire Belloc

I replaced the hard drive on my powerbook and things still didn't work. I've never dissembled a notebook as much as I had to this time and things didn't quite go back together right. The main issue I had was the ribbon that attaches the keyboard, track-pad and power switch needed to be threaded through the bottom and then properly wedged against the contacts. It took a couple days with my computer completely dead and non-responsive to realize I had the wedge in on the wrong side. Now she is booted. Glory be!

I was really disheartned because I thought I was going to lose one month worth of data, but luckily, my computer did manage to boot once and I copied off all the photos I had taken and programs I had written during the month since my backup. Photo's and journal is important to me over the past month because there have been a lot of good memories made and I want to remember from the point of view I had at the time. Unfortunately, my documents folder was complete gone. I do monthly backups, so for the most part, it wasn't a huge loss. Still, I consistently write little notes and thoughts about my day each an every day. Most of the time, it's too personal for me to publish. So I lost about a month of personal tracking, and since this past month has been filled with a lot of very good personal memories, it's a little sad to have lost it.

During the few days the computer was asleep, I was somewhat saturnine, and I was thankful for a quiet night of affection to keep my mind off of the loss. I wrote myself about a three pager to make up for the fact. Whatever will be will be.

...

Ross arrived and said, "Asuka has died. And I am glad for you that I was not there, that you may believe." I said unto him, "If you had been here, my computer would not haved died." And when I had said this, he cried out in a loud voice, "Asuka, come out!" The dead computer booted, tied hand and foot with burial bands and...

Crepuscule (06/05/2005)

It crept silently upon us
toward the ending of our day;
a sign that someone was departing
in the sunlight's final ray.
That's when I saw you in the twilight
right before the fall of night.
I saw the serene look of sorrow
and all the thoughts it had to say.

Just one more moment during dusk
to stretch out that sweet spell.
I saw angels in your eyes
and sensed white flowers in your smell.
It passed when I took a breath
the evenfall began its death.
Then darkness filled the sky
and you vanished--

Kaboom! (06/02/2005)

Well, tonight my Powerbook decided not to boot. I booted form disk and the Disk Utility told me that S.M.A.R.T. status was "Failing." Things may be quiet here for a little while. I'll take this opportunity to paint or something.